Memories...

34 already...

I had my mind set in that the Nov 25th at 01:30 I was going to go through the line of 34, but I forgot I was in the U.S., which means I did it the 24th at 16:30, nine hours before.

Not that I've done much to celebrate it anyway: Since the 23rd was Thanksgiving day, Darleen and My father in law have left to Arizona to spend a few days with the family; I haven't because I had to work, but even so, I'm glad they left me alone for a few days even if they left a mess behind. But well, no special celebration as it is getting normal in here. The best is that since the 23rd was festive I am gonna get paid time and a half for that day.

I keep chatting with Ana, very good vibes; She passed me a few photos and we have seen each other through the webcam: She is like the good wine: as time goes by, she is getting better and better, and the best of all is that chatting with her makes me really feel missed over there.

Well, not much more to say. I don't know, I don't feel like writing today and I still should be writing some more stuff I have been asked to. And still do chores, dammit...

Thanks to everyone who have remembered my Birthday. To those who not, I thank you too for I am sure even when you forgot, you are still wishing me a happy Birthday :)

Balm for the Heart

"The key for friendship is in making the other person feel special." This fundamental statement, I heard from a friend years ago and since then I apply such wise precept to my relationship with the outside qorld. Yesterday I remembered it because it was another person making me feel very special.

Ana, a friend I hadn't talked to for years, gifted me with on of the better conversations I've ever had on Messenger.

After so long without knowing each other's whereabouts, we chatted for more than two hours, telling each other how were we doing and bringing back memories of those times we shared... and I felt loved. Not loved as if someone had fallen in love with me, or this appreciation I thank all of you out there so much for, it was just something different. Maybe it was me, my feelings being composed by more numbers than words lately, maybe it caught me in a specially receptive moment, but talking with her I really felt like she really was, welcoming me back into her life.

As the chat went on, I felt more and more comforted By the genuine and spontaneous kind of love Ana's words expressed. Love in its most pure shape: I felt great, and after talking to her I was so taken over that I was craving to write the story on the blogs, But the words wouldn't come out until I went back to work and had a few patrol walks and pondered how to put in words how did I feel chatting with my recently recovered friend. Even now I'm not sure I have done justice with this words to how good did I feel, but at least I have explained the experience, and most definitely, tha yesterday my morale, my ego were boosted up, and made me not a happy day, but a happy existence. And when you move from stump to stump like I have recently, these are the kind of things that make a difference. tha make the difference.

A big kiss for you, Ana, although there are no such big kiss to express the gratitude I feel for how you made me feel yesterday.

Moby-Slipping Away

Moby - Slipping Away

Slipping Away Lyrics


All that we needed, was right
The threshold is breaking, tonight

Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me

Focus on everything better today
All that I needed I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away

All that we needed, tonight
Are people who love us, and life
I know how it feels to need
Oh when we leave here, you'll see

Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me

Focus on everything better today
All that I needed I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away

So long
So long

Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me

Focus on everything better today
All that I needed I never could say

Hold on to people they're slipping away
[14x]

Yes, I know...

...It's been a few days since I wrote last. I'm feeling lazy and I haven't found the moment to write until now....

I have finally started to work; In fact, I started three days ago and it's looking pretty good, at least concerning work. The job is in a Pioneer plant, as I said in the last entries, but it has nothing to do qith graveyards: It's that this shift is called "graveyard" because it's nighttime and it's supposed to be calm... as a graveyard. But that's just "supposed to", since Pioneer has a night shift for employees too.

I've started pretty good since lately Shield was sending only incompetents to the post and with me, as opposite, they look pretty satisfied since I'm getting all the stuff they're training me for and I've started to take initiative right away.

Regarding Darleen, for now we've decided to stay away from each other for a while so she can try to go to Eugene, Oregon, where her brother and the flowerpot he married are living now, so she can search for a job and a rental over there since housing and general life over there seems to be easier than in the ridiculously expensive California. Meanwhile, I will find a lair to stay and live on my own until we decide to get together again, until I get my money back or whatever happens.

Yesterday I got an email from Ana, of whom I hadn't heard in a while. Curious thing is, the day before I got a tape to listen to in the car ans at the end it was her talking in a program I taped over. Well, I'm glad to hear about her and to know I'm still in her mail list, and by the way I asked her about Nuria, of whom I havent heard in a while either.

A Radical Change

Back in 1.993, when Laura was still my girlfriend, she used to bug me to shave more often. After breaking up, as a posthumous act of rebelry, I started letting my beard grow, and soon after it became a goatee.

To this point, almos everyone who knows me have always seen me with some kind of facial hair, be it beard or goatee; In the Sábanas, people who still didn't know my nickname used to call me "the goatee dude"...

...And today, October 31, 2006, after more than 11 years of a facial hair that was already a sign of identity, I have shaved my face completely. And that's what I've seen:





Such a change in my look responds to a job imperative I am forced to take due to the situation I explained in the previous entry. Anyways It's not a final change and as soon as I have the chance the goatee will grow back. I feel weird without my goatee, I feel as if it wasn't me, but it's a sacrifice I must make now, as many other I will have to make pretty soon.

Good and Bad News

Good news, those always too brief, are that I finally got the job at Shield Security; A night shift 4 days a week that I will make 5 if I have the chance so I can get to $1600 at the end of the month. I already have the uniforms.

Bad news are that things with darleen are going so, so bad, that it looks like splitting up and have each other head on their own way is going to be the only option. Arguments are getting worse, because they pile up with the unsolved issues of the other arguments, and we are so apart from each other that we practically ignore each other and mind only our own businesses. At least she has it a bit better than me; her family and friends are around, and if one does't take her under their roof, the other will... But that's not my case: The moment we split up, I am on my own. That's because I have started to ask my mother in law, my only minimally decent support in this side of the ocean, about the possibility of renting something small, maybe a studio or even a trailer, and stay there until I save enough money to recover what I lost in this damned adventure, send home the stuff I can't take with me, get a plane back to Spain and forget america for a long, long time.

I don't know what are Darleen's plans, but I'm already making my mind to the idea that she won't be in mine; I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't know how am I gonna get out of this, but whatever it is, it's gonna be me, myself and I.

Darleen said she was going to spend the night at her buddie's apartment. That was last Sunday. It's Tuesday morning right now and still to hear a word from her. Gives a pretty clear Idea of how the situation is. At least she has a place to go where everything is cool and funny and can forget what's going on in her home. Meanwhile, I'm either out solving work stuff or in bed, away from the world as much as I can.

By the way, Maumau's eye is dripping more than usual and I don't even have the money to take him to a vet.

Guard Card

Yesterday I went through the training to obtain the Guard Card... Not bad, I went there and I was the only one, so the treatment I got was literally personal. I could take notes, read the book at my own rhythm and at the end the test was almost flawless.

The video was pretty much the same: The lady attending me had to come a couple times to start the new chapter in the DVD, but by the third chaper I already got the hold of the DVD and was handling it on my own, of course after telling her she didnt have to bother to come and press the little button for me.

At the end, I did great at the tests and my guard card, and I suppose my first job in the US, are just a background check away.

By the afternoon we went to Patty's Birthday party. Not really my kind of party and not really my kind of people, but the party wasn't all that bad; First, we got lost trying to find the goddamn place and were nearly one hour late, but we finally found the place. There were a few of Patty's friends which I don't know; Daniel, her boyfriend, her brother Joe, her dad, some of Daniel's family and one Megan, a long-lost cousin of Darleen. We ate some pizza, had some Ice cream, chatted around a bit, then Patty opened the presents and that was it. As I say, it wasn't too awesome, but at least we did something we don't usually do.

I think there's a Bowling event the 501st does in Riverside the Nov 4th. See if I can drag Darleen in and take some pics.

Starwolf, "Pallet Jack" forklifter

Hell yeah, today I arranged an appointment and in less than an hour I filled the forms, got my pictures taken, watched a video, made a test and walked out of the USA Forklift offices as a certified forklifter. And tomorrow, if everything goes okay, I will go do the security training and will come back home with my unarmed Guard Card. And if everything goes really good, I may even come back home with a job.

Wish me luck.